i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
