Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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