I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize