Your dad touched me again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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