I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
