You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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