He is such a slut. More and more my type.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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