Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
