I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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