Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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