I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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