She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize