quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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