No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
