do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
