Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have so many feelings about this burrito
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
