PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
