she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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