Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
should my penis look like a turkey
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize