I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
