She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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