Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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