I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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