If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
