forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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