matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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