i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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