How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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