dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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