Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
