What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
