well you can't waste a boner
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My liver is preforming stress tests.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
