I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
