I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
