I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
