Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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