Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
