Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i came on her dog
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
