She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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