dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize