The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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