She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
