wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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