no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
