Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
