No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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