I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can text with my tongue
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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