Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize