is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
