I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
