It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
