well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
