Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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