she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
