Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
