idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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