Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
