Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
