I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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